Wide Hash Marks – Trophy Smashers, Bobby Petrino, Aggie Outfitters

Welcome to this week’s edition of Wide Hash Marks where we will cover:

  • Alabama’s National Championship Trophy Shattered
  • Bobby Petrino’s Suddenly Open Schedule
  • Basic U.S. Geography for Aggie Outfitters

The Costliest Fumble

You don’t have to be familiar with College Football to be familiar with the crystalline trophy that gets handed to the national champion each and every year.  Handmade in Ireland, this trophy is valued at nearly $30,000.  So you can imagine the shock and horror as the father of a player tripped on a rug and tumbled into the podium holding the trophy.  It must have felt like slow motion as the crystal football, a symbol of everything the Crimson Tide had worked so hard for last year rolled off the stand and crashed into the floor.

This isn’t the first time that the BCS trophy has been in the news.  A potential recruit at the University of Florida in 2008 dropped the ball (still not sure why he was actually holding it).  And surprise surprise, two of the trophies were stolen at Florida State, a school known for its community of upstanding citizens.  So the father shouldn’t feel too bad.  Aside from probably never being invited back to the University of Alabama and his son running extra laps, the whole incident will be forgotten in a few years.

Bobby Petrino’s Day Planner

Former head coach of the Arkansas Razorback’s football team, Bobby Petrino, has a bit more free time on his hands lately since his dismissal last week for a litany of offenses.  His moral rap sheet includes the inappropriate hiring of his mistress (genius), to his denying his relationship with her when questioned about it (upstanding), and lying about her presence when he wrecked his motorcycle (crafty).

Since he’s no longer filling his time with recruiting, coaching, or motorcycle rides, we wonder exactly what he’s up to.  Thankfully we were able to track down a copy of his to-do list for the upcoming week.

  • Find another job for the mistress.  If unable to find a suitable job, find another mistress.
  • Check out Myrtle Beach Golf Courses for tee times.
    • Work on short game.
    • Tune up the Harley for my drive up to Myrtle Beach.
    • Think of alibi’s for when wife (or police) start asking questions

Aggie Atlas

Texas A & M will join the SEC this year, and among many other things, it means that retailers will have the chance to sell Aggie apparel with the SEC logo on it.  But first, they might want to hit up a geography class, or at least buy one of those big wall maps you see in elementary school classrooms all across the country.

The tee shirts were printed with the slogan “We may be new to the conference, but we aren’t new to the game” and included outlines of the states which host schools playing in the SEC.  All seemed well until you actually looked at the state and realized that North Carolina was included in the group of states, despite not having a school represented in the conference.  Notably absent was the state of Texas, home of the Aggies, as well as Missouri who is a newcomer this year as well.  The tee shirts have reportedly since been pulled from the shelves and the site, but as many people have learned the hard way, in today’s internet age, nothing ever truly goes away.